We are faced with a challenge because our district does not currently offer ASD services at the pre-school level, which unfortunately is the most critical time of learning for these little guys and gals. (See I.E.Phew Meeting Part 1 for details in case you missed that one...) Additionally, with his new certification of ASD, he is eligible to be in a setting that has no more than 6 students to 1 teacher and 1 paraprofessional. The significance of this is that in this setting, he would obviously receive much more one on one time from the teacher and para, and through his ABA intervention this summer, it is apparent that he is much more capable of learning in this type of environment than in a larger group setting. Unfortunately for him, his current preschool classroom can house up to 12 special needs children of varying degrees, and it is extremely difficult to meet his individual needs with so many other children to teach and care for.
As a parent, it was a very difficult thing for me to decide that I want to fight to have my child essentially segregated from his classroom population to be isolated in an environment where there will likely be very little social interaction. I mean, in the end, isn't that one of the goals of pre-school? To help to socialize a child before Kindergarten? To get them ready for classroom routines, schedules, and structured group activities? It's a big decision. Some parents fight tooth and nail for just the opposite. They feel their child would be better off learning from their typical peers in a typical classroom. Therein lies the big dilemma....which is the better choice? And in our case, will the school support my wishes for my child whether I feel strongly one way or the other?
Whether a parent feels that inclusion is the most appropriate way for their child to learn, or if individual instruction would be best really only weighs in partially in the decision making process. The school ultimately has the right to choose where your child will end up, and this is based on many factors, which unfortunately include (but will never be discussed because it is against the law) financial implications. On the flip side, if the parents and school cannot come to an agreement, then it is the parent's right to request a hearing, and a long, stressful and often discouraging battle can ensue between the family and the school district. Opening this Pandora's box not only can result in a losing battle, but it can damage relationships between families and school districts, which in the end can really make things difficult for families, and worse, for the child as he progresses through his school age years. (to clarify, I do not mean to say that he will be treated poorly as a result, but just that each year, the damaged relationship may make it more difficult to secure the services that the child needs.)
These are things I did not know before I had a special needs child. (There you go again Nicholas...slyly making mommy learn a LOT of new things about the world!) Throughout the summer, I had such anxiety about this meeting, and what the outcome would be that I could rarely put it out of my mind. The goal of an IEP team (which consists of the school personnel, administration, and parents) is to thoroughly discuss the child's strengths and weaknesses, and truly decide what the best programming for him/her will be. But to muddle this process further, there are laws with which the school must abide (for example, educating a child in his "Least Restrictive Environment" or LRE as we old pro's refer to it) and it is not always financially feasible (due to funding or staff availability) to take a child out of this environment into a more secluded one that may best suited for his or her needs. The bottom line for us is that I want my son in an ASD specific classroom, which would require the district to send him out of our district to another school. This costs money and requires resources that they probably don't have. I recognize and appreciate this. After all, the school is a business, and they have their own issues to deal with. However, by law, they are required to provide him with what is referred to as "free and appropriate education" (or FAPE, again as we pro's call it...) and of course their preference would be to try and do this within their own classrooms, with their own resources.
So, now that you have a mini-background on the issues, let me tell you about my experience. I will admit, that going into this meeting, I had very low expectations of being able to come to an acceptable compromise. Despite the fact that we have had a very positive experience with his educators and therapists in our school district, as a parent of special needs, you hear and read nothing but horror stories about how these meetings will go. I have read so many accounts of parents not knowing their rights, and being basically bullied by school districts into complying with their recommendations that may not have been right for their child. I have also read about situations where the school district staff appears to be open to a parent's opinions or wishes, only to railroad them in the IEP meeting which usually results in the parents backing down from what they know their child needs, or pushing on with a stressful lawsuit. Now, I like to have a little more faith in people than this, and generally I do. However, I had NO idea what to expect when I sat down in our meeting this week because of some of the stories I've heard. I arrived armed with law books, key phrases, progress reports, and data, data, data. As much as I was trying to keep an open mind, I was ready if I were to be attacked.
Much to my pleasant surprise, it turns out that things were not as ugly as I had anticipated they would be. Did I get exactly what I asked for? No. However, after 3 1/2 hours of discussing my son's goals for the year, and what we need to do to meet them, we came to an agreement that he would have a special schedule put in place for him in his current classroom, which will theoretically provide him with the additional one on one time that I know he needs. We compromised that he would try this out for 60 days, and reconvene to discuss whether or not the staff was able to truly devote the time he needs (because let's face it....they have a LOT on their plates as it is,) and to measure his progress over this period. If we determine (together) that his educational needs are not being met in this environment at the end of this trial period, then we will discuss other options for him.
I have to say that though this wasn't my ideal situation (because of course, I would have loved for them to say that they would just go ahead and put him in an ASD classroom that is already established somewhere) I am pleased with the outcome. I truly felt supported by the IEP team, and I can also respect the process enough to understand the actions that are being taken. I walked away from the meeting knowing that for these educators and administrators to spend 3 1/2 hours of their day discussing the needs of my son when they have so many other children to manage, that they truly do care about him and want to do the right thing. Everyone was very honest about what they felt he needed, and what they could provide for him, and that is the only thing I can ask for. I feel very lucky to have my son in an environment where, despite whether or not his needs will be fully met, the educators are going to do their damnedest to try. And I will not fault them if it doesn't happen, because I understand the challenges that they are faced with daily, and how much more attention my son requires to learn.
Only time will tell whether or not this is the right place or him, but I feel good about my relationship with the school, and I am grateful for the educators we have in place there. Everyone has their limits given the time and resources that they have available, and I am not entirely sure if this will fully work out for him, but for the sake of compromise and being reasonable, I am willing to try.
As a side note and a conclusion to this post , I want to say to all of you special education teachers and to anyone who works in the field that it takes a very special kind of person to do what you do (not that you need me to tell you that....) Many teachers take on more than they can handle, and I can speak to that from hearing so many of my teacher friends talk about their work, and knowing their caring personalities and how much of themselves they really do give outside of the classroom environment to their kids. But special education takes a different type of patience, and an unique ability to connect with students and parents. There are so many politics that can impede, and my hat is off to those of you who are able to still focus on the students and how you can enrich their lives, despite the peripheral factors that can affect this. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to all of you reading this who have been so supportive of my family and in particular, Nicholas (you know who you are!!) Words can never express my gratitude for your heartfelt words and encouragement when it comes to his progress and achievements. He wouldn't be where he is today without your persistence. And to those out there who do this for other children every day, I have the utmost respect for what you do each day, and I want to thank you for devoting your time to every child who crosses your path. They need you, and the world needs you!!
As a parent, it was a very difficult thing for me to decide that I want to fight to have my child essentially segregated from his classroom population to be isolated in an environment where there will likely be very little social interaction. I mean, in the end, isn't that one of the goals of pre-school? To help to socialize a child before Kindergarten? To get them ready for classroom routines, schedules, and structured group activities? It's a big decision. Some parents fight tooth and nail for just the opposite. They feel their child would be better off learning from their typical peers in a typical classroom. Therein lies the big dilemma....which is the better choice? And in our case, will the school support my wishes for my child whether I feel strongly one way or the other?
Whether a parent feels that inclusion is the most appropriate way for their child to learn, or if individual instruction would be best really only weighs in partially in the decision making process. The school ultimately has the right to choose where your child will end up, and this is based on many factors, which unfortunately include (but will never be discussed because it is against the law) financial implications. On the flip side, if the parents and school cannot come to an agreement, then it is the parent's right to request a hearing, and a long, stressful and often discouraging battle can ensue between the family and the school district. Opening this Pandora's box not only can result in a losing battle, but it can damage relationships between families and school districts, which in the end can really make things difficult for families, and worse, for the child as he progresses through his school age years. (to clarify, I do not mean to say that he will be treated poorly as a result, but just that each year, the damaged relationship may make it more difficult to secure the services that the child needs.)
These are things I did not know before I had a special needs child. (There you go again Nicholas...slyly making mommy learn a LOT of new things about the world!) Throughout the summer, I had such anxiety about this meeting, and what the outcome would be that I could rarely put it out of my mind. The goal of an IEP team (which consists of the school personnel, administration, and parents) is to thoroughly discuss the child's strengths and weaknesses, and truly decide what the best programming for him/her will be. But to muddle this process further, there are laws with which the school must abide (for example, educating a child in his "Least Restrictive Environment" or LRE as we old pro's refer to it) and it is not always financially feasible (due to funding or staff availability) to take a child out of this environment into a more secluded one that may best suited for his or her needs. The bottom line for us is that I want my son in an ASD specific classroom, which would require the district to send him out of our district to another school. This costs money and requires resources that they probably don't have. I recognize and appreciate this. After all, the school is a business, and they have their own issues to deal with. However, by law, they are required to provide him with what is referred to as "free and appropriate education" (or FAPE, again as we pro's call it...) and of course their preference would be to try and do this within their own classrooms, with their own resources.
So, now that you have a mini-background on the issues, let me tell you about my experience. I will admit, that going into this meeting, I had very low expectations of being able to come to an acceptable compromise. Despite the fact that we have had a very positive experience with his educators and therapists in our school district, as a parent of special needs, you hear and read nothing but horror stories about how these meetings will go. I have read so many accounts of parents not knowing their rights, and being basically bullied by school districts into complying with their recommendations that may not have been right for their child. I have also read about situations where the school district staff appears to be open to a parent's opinions or wishes, only to railroad them in the IEP meeting which usually results in the parents backing down from what they know their child needs, or pushing on with a stressful lawsuit. Now, I like to have a little more faith in people than this, and generally I do. However, I had NO idea what to expect when I sat down in our meeting this week because of some of the stories I've heard. I arrived armed with law books, key phrases, progress reports, and data, data, data. As much as I was trying to keep an open mind, I was ready if I were to be attacked.
Much to my pleasant surprise, it turns out that things were not as ugly as I had anticipated they would be. Did I get exactly what I asked for? No. However, after 3 1/2 hours of discussing my son's goals for the year, and what we need to do to meet them, we came to an agreement that he would have a special schedule put in place for him in his current classroom, which will theoretically provide him with the additional one on one time that I know he needs. We compromised that he would try this out for 60 days, and reconvene to discuss whether or not the staff was able to truly devote the time he needs (because let's face it....they have a LOT on their plates as it is,) and to measure his progress over this period. If we determine (together) that his educational needs are not being met in this environment at the end of this trial period, then we will discuss other options for him.
I have to say that though this wasn't my ideal situation (because of course, I would have loved for them to say that they would just go ahead and put him in an ASD classroom that is already established somewhere) I am pleased with the outcome. I truly felt supported by the IEP team, and I can also respect the process enough to understand the actions that are being taken. I walked away from the meeting knowing that for these educators and administrators to spend 3 1/2 hours of their day discussing the needs of my son when they have so many other children to manage, that they truly do care about him and want to do the right thing. Everyone was very honest about what they felt he needed, and what they could provide for him, and that is the only thing I can ask for. I feel very lucky to have my son in an environment where, despite whether or not his needs will be fully met, the educators are going to do their damnedest to try. And I will not fault them if it doesn't happen, because I understand the challenges that they are faced with daily, and how much more attention my son requires to learn.
Only time will tell whether or not this is the right place or him, but I feel good about my relationship with the school, and I am grateful for the educators we have in place there. Everyone has their limits given the time and resources that they have available, and I am not entirely sure if this will fully work out for him, but for the sake of compromise and being reasonable, I am willing to try.
As a side note and a conclusion to this post , I want to say to all of you special education teachers and to anyone who works in the field that it takes a very special kind of person to do what you do (not that you need me to tell you that....) Many teachers take on more than they can handle, and I can speak to that from hearing so many of my teacher friends talk about their work, and knowing their caring personalities and how much of themselves they really do give outside of the classroom environment to their kids. But special education takes a different type of patience, and an unique ability to connect with students and parents. There are so many politics that can impede, and my hat is off to those of you who are able to still focus on the students and how you can enrich their lives, despite the peripheral factors that can affect this. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to all of you reading this who have been so supportive of my family and in particular, Nicholas (you know who you are!!) Words can never express my gratitude for your heartfelt words and encouragement when it comes to his progress and achievements. He wouldn't be where he is today without your persistence. And to those out there who do this for other children every day, I have the utmost respect for what you do each day, and I want to thank you for devoting your time to every child who crosses your path. They need you, and the world needs you!!
Good Job Renee & Chris !!
ReplyDelete